I have an excuse. I am fucking exhausted.
Stand-up is terribly addictive. You're invited to a party where only the strangest and most creative people fit in. It's inspiring to see a comedian's set develop and friends succeed in front of a crowd that's awesome. The next night I'll see the funniest people bomb in front of a brutal crowd, just to pick themselves up and rock it at the next venue. It’s a talented and motivated group; constantly developing their sets, writing, and being creative. However, it can be unforgiving. If one of the club falls behind for too long, no one waits. I keep telling myself that I(and my dad) didn't spend $80k on Penn State to be a stand-up comedian full-time and give up on a career that I love so that I can stand like Wonder Woman on stage and make people laugh (Jason Keyes thinks I stand like Wonder Woman. Lucky Johnston, my Facebook fiancé, is convinced that I am actually She-Hulk).
I am trying to balance my life, comedy and my job, which is the hardest I have had to work at something since balancing swimming, dance, and Model United Nations in 9th grade.
Here's my weekly comedy/work schedule, 1/3 of which I make it to, but have proven to be my favorite spots:
Work, M-F: 7:00ish – 4:00ish
Mondays: Lion's Lair, Benders
Tuesdays: Comedy Works, The Squire
Wednesdays: Old Chicago's, The Cork (in Ft. Collins... I'm not driving there)
Thursdays: Paris on the Platte (now cancelled)
Fridays: Gennaro's, 404
Saturdays: Bovine Improv Classes
Sundays: Comedy Works South, Kinga's
Luckily, I’m still not very funny, and am rarely invited to do any other shows. This became clear after I did a writing workshop and realized that I was talking about nothing of value; yammering on about how I'm a whore and giving listeners the impression that I am generally a terrible, conceited person who likes to make fun of people's disabilities, races, and unfortunate circumstances. If you know me at all, you know that this is only a small portion of my daily thought process. I also very much dislike most children that I'm not related to and any food that looks even remotely similar to baby vomit.
I suppose it’s time to be a little bit more true to myself. So, what the hell should I talk about now?
- Synchronized Swimming?
- 12 years of working in amusement parks?
- The meth house in my backyard?
Here's to writing…. and to keeping my day job.